I'VE MISSED YOU ALL!!!

OMG!!!  Hi everyone!!!  Did ya'll miss me???!!!  I'm SO sorry I haven't posted in like a MONTH but there's been SOOOOO much goin on in my life...so buckle up and settle in cuz I'm about to fill you in on EVERYTHING and we may be here a while!!!  Okay...so you all know that I've MOVED!  Well THAT was a FREAKIN nightmare!!!  I would like to thank EVERYONE that helped me with that!  Thanks AMANDA, TWINS, DONNY, BOB, BILLY, GEORGE, VINCE, MATT, CODY, AND ERIC!!!!  Ya'll saved my ASS once again with this move!  Especially since "Mr. WONDERFUL" did NOTHING!  He told my son that he didn't live there anymore and it wasn't "HIS" problem!!!  Yea...may not be "HIS" fuckin PROBLEM but his kids ARE "HIS" problem!!!  Even people that HATE their ex-wives said they'd help her move for the KIDS sake!!!  Oh wait....he DID take apart Erics bed!!!  I worship the ground for that!!!  NOT!!!!  But what WAS important to him was to take a trip to Wisconsin for two days with "a friend from work"!!!  YEP!!!  OH WELL!!!  I'd especially like to thank Donny, Bob, and Amanda for bailin my ass outta jail as well!!!!  Yes boys and girls...yers truly is a JAIL BIRD!!!!  So this cop followed me from the old neighborhood to the new neighborhood and my tags and drivers liscense were suspended!!!  So instead of officer freakin FRIENDLY just writin me some tickets and lettin me unload my truck...he handcuffed me and hauled my ass to JAIL!!!!  So now my new neighbors are witnessin this..for all THEY know I could have blugeoned a family to death and stole their dog!!!!  I SWEAR I didn't steal the DOG..that would be WRONG!!!!  HA!!!  But him takin me to jail isn't what really pissed me off!!!  What REALLY pissed me off was sittin in the back of this car sweaty and handcuffed (well one hand anyway...I was able to slip my hand out of the other) but he made me listen to "I Will Survive" and "Funkytown" all the way to the police station!!!!!  Aaahhhhhhhhh!!!!  What a DICK!!!!  Anyway, I offered the female officer money after she made me assume the position and ran her hand up my thigh into my crotch so hard that whatever was stuck up in there would fall out!!!  Well it was a happy ending boys and girls!!!  LOL!!!!  J/K!!!!  I even got a bologna sandwich and some juice!!!  But hey...I got outta unloadin the dang truck didn't I??!!!  Yea....NOT FUNNY!!!  So then I worked all that weekend and did a party on the 4th of July!  I found out that the party that my kids were at ended up with their drunken uncle pourin pop on Codys head!!!  HE'S a WONDERFUL guy too!!!  SO NOT!!!!!  And Paul's turned into his bitter old nasty MOTHER!!!  He said he wanted to be his OWN person and blah blah blah!!!  But I can TELL that mommy dearest has influenced his EVERY decision!!!  He talks and ACTS just like her!!!  It's quite SAD actually!!  But THAT'S not MY problem!  Okay...let's see...what else?????  I gave birth FIANLLY!  To a 10 pound baby GORRILLA!!!  Bahahaaha had ya'll goin huh?!!!  I've been sicker than HELL with my alergies!  Now I'm havin MAJOR  problems with my Fibroids.  Saturday night at work I was buckled over cuz I was in so much pain!  I'm goin tomorrow for a SECOND opinion!  Chances are I'll end up havin a hysterectomy!!!  That sucks!!!  Oh...July 11th was Matts 16th Birthday!!!  Happy Birthday sweet boy!!!  So for his Birthday I took him to the "Sounds of the Underground" concert.  For those of you who don't KNOW about this concert...it's got SEVERAL different bands (kinda like la la palooza) but these are death metal bands!  I had invited a BUNCH of people cuz Gwar was playin and I heard they were freaky...so I wanted to SHARE that with all my "FRIENDS"!  Well once they found out it was an all day concert and the tickets were almost $50 they BAILED!!!  Fuckin SISSIES!!!!  So Jason went with us!!!  He made me promise not to embarrass HIM!!!  Bahahahaha!!!  For those of you who KNOW Jason...yer laughin at that comment right now!!!  Once we got in there they tried to confiscate my alergy pills!!!  OH I DON"T THINK SO!!!!!  So they took me in the "medical" room where I showed them my arson of medication...and told me to have a good time!!!  So THAT was cool!!  Jason kinda disappered and so Matt and I watched the bands by ourselves....(along with 5,000 other people we didn't know)!  It was  almost time for Gwar to go on...I haven't ever seen Gwar in PERSON just seen some videos and Paul told me that they were pretty crazy (they spray the audience with fake blood from their prostetic penises!) I was a little concerned about watchin this with my 16yr old SON...but I figured I'd just cover his eyes!  LOL!!!  Well no need for THAT...they DID spray blood outta their penis...and chop Bushes head off wich spewed blood...but they didn't do anything really NASTY like what they were showin at their booth!  OMG!!!  I DID cover Matts eyes when we went back there...it was NASTY DIRTY!!!!  Anyway I told Matt that if a Mosh pit broke out by me (we were pretty close to the front) to pull me out!  Well when they came on, I was jackin with my cell phone so I could take some pictures...so I wasn't payin attention when they struck that first cord and the crowd rushed the stage along with ME!!!  Matt jumped outta the way then reached out and grabbed my hand and pulled me...but they kept comin...broke us apart then he reached out, grabbed me again and pulled me out!!!  MY HERO!!!  They stepped on my ankle and made me BLEED!!!  So we stood on the SIDE of the stage (outta the way of the spray of blood and BLUE)!!!  When they were done, Jason found us...he looked like a little blue troll!!!!  So I made this sign that said it's my sons 16th Bday...can we come backstage?  The one guy that was being eaten by the monster kept smilin at me and told me to hang on a minute!  Well I got tired of waitin so we walked around and waited for the next bands.  Later, we went to the booth and Jason said the band was there.  So Matt got a few signatures from Gwar and I ended up hookin up with the DRUMMER!!!!  Well not ACTUALLY hookin up...but we talked for awhile and we talk on the phone quite a bit!  We tried to make plans to go to dinner or somethin but  the one night I was really sick and then he had to go to Canada.  Then he was gonna try and catch a flight back but couldn't.  So we just talk between his shows now!  He's nice!  Cody said he wanted him to teach him drums.  But I told him his dad could teach him...but he said his dad was never around!  How SAD is THAT!!!  Oh well...that's not MY fault!  Jason got free tickets to see Anthrax and called and asked Matt if he wanted to go.  Matt don't like them very much so he said no.  But I wanted to go!  So I was right against the stage right before they came on...but I needed to pee and git a beer!  I KNEW I shouldn't have left...but I told the dude next to me to spread out and save my spot!  The bastard DIDN'T...so there was some bitch there!!!  They wouldn't even spread apart enough for me to fit my arm between them to set my beer down!!!  So I stood next to the security guard.  But then it took like an hour for them to set up and I heard people behind me sayin this is bullshit let's tear this place up!!!  So I got tha hell outta there.  I went to the back of the room and stood against the wall!  There was FREAK!!!  Remember from Mancow?!!  So we talked for awhile!  He's pretty nice too!  So that's been MY excitin life for the past SEVERAL weeks!  How was YERS???!!!!  I have't posted because I've been so busy and I don't have internet yet!  So I have to find the time to come over to Kats to make a post!  I SHOULD be unpacking my dang house...because I've been so sick lately that I haven't been able to do it!  But seein that it's the HOTTEST day of the YEAR and I don't have air conditioning...well...me and the kids came to Kittys for dinner!  Thanks Kitty!!!  Well I'm signin off for now...I gotta check my email and finish my laundry...I'll  try and post soon...but I ain't makin no promises!!!  Take care and ya'll come out and see me sometime at Trickys...every Friday and Saturday from 8 till 4 in tha mornin....and be sure to tip those bartenders...they BARELY work for ya!!!!  Bahahahaha....that's my schpeil!!!  Take care of yerselves!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!